I Don't Want to Fall in Love

I have a really, really big fear. And no, it's not spiders or heights or anything like that. It's love. I know, that sounds ridiculous. But please, let me explain.

And no, I am not a commitment-phobe (how could I be? I'm only 16!)

You see, I have grown up reading romance novels and watching romantic comedies and sappy TV shows. These experiences have taught me a few things:

• If you have a boy as a best friend, he is in love with you. You may have loved him since the beginning of time or you may just realize it when it is too late (or, at least, when it seems too late, but really, you'll rush to find him at the last second at the airport/university/planetarium)

Examples: Post Grad (Ryden & Adam), Clueless (Cher & Josh), Where the Heart Is (Novalee & Forney), When Harry Met Sally (Harry & Sally), Dawson's Creek (Joey & Dawson), Northern Exposure (Maggie & Joel), Bones (Brennan & Booth), Teen Idol (Jenny & Scott), How to Be Popular (Stephanie & Jason), Airhead Series (Em/Nicki & Christopher)

• When two people break up it is rarely permanent, because they are soulmates

Examples: The Notebook (Allie & Noah), Friends (Ross & Rachel), Dawson's Creek (Joey & Dawson), Gilmore Girls (Lorelai & Luke), Everwood (Ephram & Amy) The Princess Diaries (Michael & Mia), Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Lena & Kostos)

• Couples will always reunite in a big climatic scene where they confess their undying love for each other

Examples: All the couples already listed, plus 27 Dresses (Jane & Kevin), While You Were Sleeping (Jack & Lucy), Pants on Fire (Katie & Tommy), Psych Major Syndrome (Leigh & Nathan), and every other couple fictional couple that has ever existed

All these so-called experiences have made me fear love. I mean, how could it possibly live up to my expectations? What if I have a boy who is really just a friend? Or what if "friends with benefits" is not a cover for the fact that he really loves me? And what if, instead of a big climatic break up and reconciliation, we just stay together (or, worse, we just break up)? And what if, worst of all, there are no soulmates, no person we're "supposed to end up with"? I would be so disappointed. My ideas of love come from very unreliable and unrealistic sources and I fear I am bound to be crushed by these big ideas about love.

I'm not scared to love because it might be too much, or too overwhelming. I'm scared it will be too little. I mean, what if all my dreams do come true, but they're just not enough? What do I do then? What do I have to look forward to without love? What is life without love?

These are a few of my least favourite things...

As I have confessed before, I am a listaholic. Give me anything--TV shows, movies, songs, blogs, actors, and I will have a list of favourites. I have shared many of these lists with the blogosphere, such as this post, and this one and this one and this one. I realized though, that these were all lists of my favourite things. Well, let me tell you, do I have a list of least favourite things. A very long list, in fact. I tend to be a very pessimistic person, so the things list of things I hate are never ending. Usually, I keep them to myself (and my close friends). But today I thought I'd give you all a treat and give you a list my least favourite things. I promise this will be the only time I will make such a hateful list. There is already enough negative in the world (and online). I don't need to add to it. But, without further ado,

MY LIST OF THINGS THAT SUCK

1) People Who Keep Asking You to Repeat Yourself

Oh god, how I hate this. To be clear, I don't mean people who occasionally ask you to repeat what you said because a roaring jet flew over your heads or a bomb exploded or something. No, I mean people who NEVER LISTEN and ask you to repeat EVERYTHING YOU SAY. And I mean literally EVERY sentence. Oh my god, is it annoying. There's a kid in one of my classes who does this CONSTANTLY and it drives me INSANE. Why can't you just listen the first time? Why? Why? Why? What is so hard about that? Why do we all have to hear everything twice just because you're too lazy to listen? Why, dear god, why? (This is one of those times I really hope that none of my classmates find my blog. They'd get really mad...).

2) Mad Men

There are a lot of TV shows I dislike (Chuck, 24, and Dancing with the Stars, for example) but none so much as Mad Men. This show has so much freaking hype for nothing. And I mean nothing. I tried to watch it last year after it won yet another round of Emmys. I figured the Emmy voters knew what they were doing. Plus, it had Elisabeth Moss, a West Wing Alum, a club of people who can do no wrong (except for Martin Sheen guest starring on Two and a Half Men. That was just freaky). So, I tried a few episodes. Oh my lord, I have never seen such a boring show! Nothing happens! And when it does, it is so freaking boring! Why do people watch this show? Why do people give awards to this show? Are they insane? Or are they just insomniacs looking for something to put them to sleep? Because seriously, I HATE THIS SHOW. Which is really annoying when it sweeps the Emmys year after year. That's half the awards I can't enjoy. Stupid idiot Mad Men (P.S. If you want to read some more Mad Men hating, just go to this link. It is one of the many shows ranted about (including Glee, which is, like, insane!)).

3) Brave New World/The Makioka Sisters/Lord of the Rings

These are all books I was forced to read for school (grade 9, grade 11, and grade 8, respectively) and I hated them all (confession: I didn't quite finish Lord of the Rings. Actually, I only got through half of The Hobbit before switching books). All of these books sucked sucked and sucked. And I'm not saying this because I think reading books for school is bad. There are many required reading books that I've loved (Tuck Everlasting and Bridge to Terabithia, for example). No, these ones just suck. And it's not because I didn't try. I really gave it a good hard effort to like these. But, in the end, they all sucked (actually, Brave New World was just creepy...). These books have been on mind because of a combination of things: 1) I've started watching the Big Bang Theory and 2) This kid I know who's obsessed with Lord of the Rings. You see, a few days ago my school was playing this game where they played a TV theme song on the PA system and whoever could guess it first won a prize. The first day I got the Grey's Anatomy theme and the Friends theme (sadly, though, I was not quick enough to win any prizes). The second day, unbeknownst to me, they played the Lord of the Rings theme music. I was volunteering in the school library at the time and the friend I was volunteering went CRAZY when I didn't recognize the theme song. Oh, excuse me (and by the by, it was only supposed to be TV show themes, not movies, so it shouldn't even have counted!). This friend of mine went on a giant rant about how insane I am for not having read the books/seen the movies. Apparently, I am some type of giant freak (because yes, us people who don't speak elfish or whatever are the freaks). (Sorry I just went off on a bit of a Lord of the Rings rant there. I can get a little carried away...).

4) Musical Movies

Now, this one may seem strange since I love Glee so much. And I can't really explain it either. All I know is musical movies SUCK. Mamma Mia! sucks. High School Musical 1, 2, and 3, all suck. Rent sucked. Moulin Rouge! really sucked. They all sucked. And you want to know why? Because the songs were so random. I have no problem when the songs are natural, when they actually make sense in the plot. I hate it when people just randomly break out in song, like in this scene and this one (that one is especially revolting because it stars a awful-hair-died Zac Efron). It's just so random. And distracting! And boring! The weird thing is, I love live musicals. But, for some reason, when they are converted in movie form, I can't stand them. Please, can these genre of movie just die already. Can't we leave it to the professionals on Broadway?

5) People Who Say Like All the Time

So many people have this problem! And it so irritating! Sometimes I don't notice it at all, and it's totally fine. But if I do, it's all I can hear. Last year, I did Model UN club at school and they had this guest speaker who said like EVERY OTHER WORD. And it wasn't like he was stupid or something. No, he just couldn't stop saying like! It was so annoying! There's a few kids in my class who do this as well and I just want to kill them! (Oh man, if any of them ever finds this, I am so dead...). It makes people sound so stupid, when (usually) they are perfectly smart people. Why can't they just speak right? Because saying like, is so, like, annoying (come on, you had to see that one coming).

I have many more things I hate, including (but not limited to): People who say "more" and "er", such as more simpler or more clearer or more friendlier. The entire Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy (what is with people and Johnny Depp? He's not that attractive!). And that guy on Sixty Minutes who always complains about stupid stuff (why do they pay that guy?).

This could go on forever, so I shall stop to go and watch Brothers and Sisters (who is pregnant this week? It's so exciting!). See you all soon, my dear readers!

Ignorance is Bliss

Some days, I will admit, being a teenager is kind of cool. I'm trying to think of an example of this, but none come to mind. But they must exist, surely. It isn't all embarrassment and awkwardness (well maybe it is). It certainly was awful today. Yes, that's right, an adult in my life tried to be funny. Yes, I did want to die (and no, to all you adults, I am not exaggerating. This is actually how teenagers feel when adults talk about sex. Especially when that adult happens to be their teacher).

It was this morning, during my school's version of philosophy class, we were talking about sunsets. My teacher was arguing that they were beautiful, but my classmate was arguing that no one cared about sunsets (and no, this argument is not as stupid as it sounds. My classmates are actually smart, I swear. You just catch them during their stupider moments). Well, my teacher rebuts my classmates argument with the following statement: "Watching a sunset is the best thing you can experience...that I can talk about in this room.". Yes, we were all squirming. Bad. Oh god, oh god, oh god.

It made me wish that I could go back to a time when I did not understand statements such as these, when I blissfully ignorant of sexual innuendos. Basically, I wish I could back to a time before I went to school with teenage boys, a time when the phrase "that's what she said" wasn't coming out of people's mouths every five seconds.

For instance, there was a time when this song didn't seem naughty to me at all:

Lines like "You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere" seemed perfectly innocent. After all it was something I did with my barbies all the time. I sang along to line like "Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again" joyfully, with no comprehension of the funny looks adults were giving me. It was a great time, I tell you.

This bliss continued up into my tween years (god, don't you hate that word?). I remember the first time I saw The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie. Until a friend pointed it out to me, I had no idea that Bridget and Eric had sex on the beach. And I had read the book. (go to this link to see the scene if you want to laugh at my ridiculous naivete).

The worst though, is rewatching old Friends episodes. Everything that used to go right over my head suddenly makes sense. It's so bizzare. There used to be so many lines that I had no idea what they were talking about. Now, thanks to those teenage boys and there oh-so-subtle catchphrase, I understand them all. Very well, and very graphically, I might add.

I really wish I could go back to this blissful ignorance. Well, let's face it: I wish I wasn't a teenager. Being a kid is cool. You have no idea what's going on but you're always having fun. And being an adult seems okay. You have freedom and you don't have to go to school. All good things. But being a teenager is just a series of awkward moments that don't end until the day you turn eighteen (at least, they better end then. I cannot handle a single day more of this). As I said in this post, it would be nice if we were older. We wouldn't have to wait so long to actually have sex and not just make dirty innuendos about it.

(sorry to any grandmothers I just upset with that sentence. I am a little shocked at myself, actually)

I better stop before this get any dirtier. Signing off for now folks.

My Night as a Rock Star

I mentioned in my previous post a little something about playing a flute concert. Well that was the dress rehearsal. Tonight was the real thing. And man, was it awesome. I played with the city wide combined band (100 specially selected students). We played two songs--the classic, O Canada, and a Canadian military march called Fields of Honour. They both went moderately well. It was a ton of fun, and I can't wait to do it again next year.

One of the coolest parts of playing at this certain concert hall is that it is my favourite bands often play there. That means I'm playing on the same stage as people like Steven Page and Sean McCann. Oh my god, how awesome is that? Amazing, just amazing, I tell you. I got to go the special basement place, where all the musicians sign their pictures. It was really fun to see all the different acts that had graced the very stage we were on. I felt like a rock star!

I thought this would be the perfect time to write up a little list (you miss my lists, don't you?) of my favourite Canadian bands/singers, some of the very people who I shared a stage with tonight. Because you know what? CANADIAN MUSIC ROCKS!!! Here's my list:

1) Great Big Sea

Great Big Sea is one of my two favourite bands of all time (along with the next band on this list). I am actually listening to a Great Big Sea song as I write this (England, from their Fortune's Favour cd, incase you were wondering!). I love this band so much. I love Alan Doyle (who, by the way, is appearing in the new Robin Hood remake--you can see him in this trailer). I love Sean McCann (oh my god, he has THE greatest voice of all time). And Bob Hallett is good too. I love their songs so much. Ordinary Day is the best concert song I have ever experienced. And Donkey Riding was my absolute favourite song when I was little kid (on their last tour they opened their shows with that song--totally awesome!). They have SO many great songs--General Taylor, The Night Pat Murphy Died, Sea of No Cares, Lukey, Scolding Wife (to name a few). There is nothing I love more then going to a Great Big Sea concert. They are such an amazing band (and they put on a great show!).

2) The Barenaked Ladies

These guys (and yes they are guys and not just a girl porn group!) are a little more famous then the previous group (One Week, anyone?). Now, of course, I must say that they are not the Barenaked Ladies anymore. Not really. Last year they lost their lead singer (the previous mentioned Steven Page) because of "creative differences" (which sounds a little bit like the whole "irreconcilable differences" crap people claim during a divorce). With Steven Page the band has really gone downhill. I mean Ed Robertson is amazing, but he can't carry the whole band by himself. And Kevin Hearn is the worst singer of all time. But I'm supposed to be saying why I liked the band. Well, that's pretty simple. If I Had a Million Dollars. Old Apartment (a great Steven Page song--he has such a powerful voice). Too Little Too Late. Call and Answer. Brian Wilson. That's all I have to say. It's that simple. They are that good. That amazing. That incredible.

3) Shania Twain

Another childhood favourite of mine. I love to belt out her songs. They are just so much fun to sing. Man, I feel like a woman! Any man of mine better walk the line! Honey, I'm home, and I had a hard day! I don't listen to Shania a lot anymore, but I can still remember every line of every song she has ever written. I loved loved loved her growing up. And I liked some of her more recent stuff too (recent be a relative term with her). I still listen to She's Not Just A Pretty Face at least once a week (does that contradict what I just said? Well, too bad. I'm tired. I played a concert tonight!).

4) Jeremy Fisher

Now, this one is OBSCURE. I only know Jeremy Fisher because he opened for a Great Big Sea tour a couple of years ago. But let me tell you, his opening was great. I even bought his cd that very night. I couldn't miss out on such great songs like Scar That Never Heals and Left Behind and Fall for Anything and High School. I like his stuff. It's unique. And it's fun to sing to. And it's relatable. All good qualities. I know you (probably) haven't heard of him. But you should go check him out!

5) Chantal Kreviazuk

Now, you can tell this list is getting stretched a little thin because I don't listen to/like too many Chantal Kreviazuk songs (can I just point out that I spelt that name right on the first try? I mean, how awesome am I?). But I do like a few of her songs. These Days, from The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants soundtrack, for one. And Time, for another. And Feels Like Home, for a third. All really good songs. She's a really good singer. And I really like her lyrics. I love how the These Days lyrics blend all beautifully. I should really listen to more of her stuff. I'm sure I'd like it.

Oh wow, it's late. And I have a TON of homework to do. Got to go. Now (well, more like two minutes/2 hours ago, but what can you do?). Hope you all like some of this music. Or I hope you try it out. You'll love it, I swear.

TV Tropolis (Hit TV lives here!)

The ultimate days of TV are officially over. The episodes are over, the screens have turned off. Did it live up to my expectations, you ask? Well, the results were mixed (warning: spoilers ahead):

• Brothers & Sisters 2-hour movie--Pretty good, pretty good. The whole Kevin paralyzed a guy was a fairly good secret. And Kitty doesn't have cancer! Yay! But, of course, the best news of the night was that JUSTIN AND REBECCA GOT MARRIED! Yes, all my dreams finally came true. It was amazing--sweet and simple. I loved it, just loved it.

(The flashback parts of the episode were pretty awesome. It was cool to see everyone as teenagers. Little Justin was so cute!)

• Life, Unexpected season finale--Average. There was no Bug in this episode, and he's my favourite character, so, you know, it wasn't great. And the whole Baze and his father storyline was awful. But the ending was good. I'm soooo glad she married Ryan. If she had chosen Baze over Ryan they (Cate + Baze) would've just broken up in an episode anyways. Though, I'm sure Ryan and Cate will get divorced eventually (assuming, of course, the show gets renewed)

• First Post-Bluck Breakup episode of Gossip Girl--Very mixed feelings about this one. I didn't like how they teased us by getting them back together and then breaking them up again. And the whole Nate/Serena/Jenny/Carter storyline was ridiculous. And Bluck didn't get back together in the end. But, you know, that's fair. Blair can't forgive him. I understand. They better be back together by the season finale though. And Blair and Dan better not get together, like they were hinting at the end of the episode (there are actual fan sites for this? Are people insane?). I would just die...

• Spring Premiere of Glee--Well. It was surprising, I'll say that. Good? I'm still not sure. I mean, Sue was hilarious as ever, especially with her principal Figgins trick thing (didn't you love how she was still wearing her track suit in bed?). And Brittany had some funny lines. But, I have to say, WILL SCHUESTER SUCKS!!!! (sorry couldn't find the exact article. You're going to have to scroll down a little). I can't believe they broke up already! Also, Rachel and that new guy are already annoying. Why can't a romance go right on this show?

Next, of course, is the first half of the season finale of Project Runway, which I always love because Tim Gunn visits all the designer's houses, which is always a ton of fun. Sadly, though, I'll be away for the weekend, so I might miss both Project Runway and the new episode of Brothers & Sisters, which would suck. But that's what online episodes are for, I suppose.

So, what has been happening in my life besides some epic TV watching? Well, I had half a french test. And I played flute at this big famous concert hall thing. And I wrote most of a biology lab. You know, big glamorous stuff. My life is the very definition of exciting, I tell you:

(And, I know, the expression "woo hoo" has a very different (and very dirty) definition to all you Sims fans. I can't stop thinking of it like that either...)

TV ROCKS MY SOCKS

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Make it or Break it

Life, Unexpected

Gossip Girl

Being Erica

Glee

America's Next Top Model

Modern Family

Cougartown

Project Runway

30 Rock

Brothers & Sisters

Above is list of all the shows I regularly watch (with my favourite, absolutely-cannot-miss-it-or-I'll-die shows in bold). To be fair, not all of these shows air at the same time. Make it or Break and Secret Life have both ended for the season and Glee is just coming back. But still, that's a good ten hours of TV every week. Clearly, I have a problem. Usually, I feel guilty about all this TV time. However, this week I will not. Because these next three days are the best three days in TV history (not counting the Oscars, obviously). Here's the lineup:

Sunday April 11, 2010

9:00-11:00 pm--Brothers & Sisters 2 hour movie

Is this not the best thing of all time? Brothers & Sisters has been on break for three weeks, and it's finally coming back. And it's coming back big! Justin and Rebecca might get married! (finally! It's been almost a season since they got engaged!). We're finally going to find out what secret Dennis York has on Nora! Tommy is back! Oh my god, it's all so exciting!

Monday April 12, 2010

8:00-9:00 pm--Life, Unexpected season finale

I just recently started watching this show after it got rave reviews online. It's quite good, I have to say. Though I do hate that all the characters have such strange names--Lux, Baze, Cate (with a C? What kind of blasphemy is that?!?), Bug, Jones--but besides that, it is a good show. I really like the Lux-Bug relationship. In the finale this week, the whole Baze-Cate-Ryan triangle comes to a head, which should be exciting (though, I have to say, I'm not sure who I'm rooting for. I mean, Baze is cool and all, I know we're supposed to be cheering for him, but I still like Ryan because I liked Kerr Smith from his Dawson's Creek day's (he played Jack, if you are a fan of DC)). Either way it goes, it should be exciting, a nice warm up for all the drama that's going to go down on the next show of the night....

9:00-10:00--First post Chuck-Blair break up episode of Gossip Girl

They better get back together, that's all I have to say. I don't really care about the whole Nate/Serena thing. I have to have Chuck and Blair back together. I cannot go another week like this. They have to be together. Oh please, please, please, please, pray god they get back together (if you would like to hear more pathetic groveling in this vain, read this post I wrote last week).

Tuesday April 13, 2010

9:30-10:30--The spring premiere of Glee

Yes, the night we've all been waiting for since December is finally here! Glee is coming back! And after the last episode, I'm so excited! Emma and Will finally got together (but what is Terri still doing around? I wish she would just go die already)! Sue Sylvester is back (need I say more?)! And all new songs! It's all so exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, this is the three best days of TV of all time, barring maybe the Friends finale (but really, that was just sad). I am so freaking excited. Who cares about school? Who cares about crappy friends or sucky teachers or any of it when I have 2 hours of Brothers & Sisters plus a new episode of Chair plus Glee? I mean, what else really matters?

The Best YA Contest

So, still getting over the Chuck and Blair drama. It still hurts to think about it, but it's getting better day by day. In the meantime, if you remember, I mentioned a Best YA books contest that I participated in over on this website/blog. The results were posted over the last few days, and I have been following to see if any of my favourites made the list. Well, the results were mixed. All the books I voted for made the list (**I think, but I may have forgotten all I voted for...), but they came in much lower then I expected. However, I am proud to announce that I have read a good number of the winners. Here is my list, in winning order:

(quick legend: bold is for books I especially liked. Non-bold (regular?) is for books I've read, but didn't love)

#2 Harry Potter Series by J. K. Rowling

#3 Twilight Series By Stephenie Meyer

#4 To Kill a Mockingbird By Harper Lee

#13 The Giver By Lois Lowry

#15 Little Women By Louisa May Alcott

#23 The Diary of Anne Frank By Anne Frank

#24 Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

#26 The Catcher In The Rye By J. D. Salinger

#27 The Outsiders By S. E. Hinton

#28 Holes By Louis Sachar

#32 Romeo And Juliet By William Shakespeare

#36 The Secret Garden By Frances Hodgson Burnett

#43 Winter Girls by Laurie Halse Anderson

#47 The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Series by Ann Brashares

#52 The Princess Diaries Series by Meg Cabot

#58 Just Listen by Sarah Dessen

#59 Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt

#61 Go Ask Alice by Anonymous

#64 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon

#65 Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli

#66 A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith

#78 Just Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen

#81 The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen

#82 The Mediator Series by Meg Cabot

#89 Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison

#93 Tithe by Holly Black

#95 Forever by Judy Blume

#97 Among the Hidden by Mary Peterson Haddix

Total: 28/100 books, 9 of which I LOVED

So, quick commentary on the list:

-No big surprise, Harry Potter and Twilight top the list. The real surprise, though, is that they both beat out by The Hunger Games. I didn't think there was a bigger (or more insane) fan base then the Twihards. I think this is one of those times where the poll is skewed (though, I have to say, I'm happy the bloodsuckers lost).

-Romeo and Juliet, really? It's a freaking play. In iambic pentameter. I had to read it for ninth grade english class. Do people actually read this for pleasure? Without falling asleep?

-I'm glad Speak did so well. It was my absolute favourite book when I was younger. A must read for anyone, young or old. Also, Stargirl, a little farther down the list, was another childhood favourite of mine.

-How is Just Listen (#58) the highest Sarah Dessen on this list? Are you kidding me? Just Listen is good, but it's nowhere near as amazing as The Truth About Forever (#81). Crazy people, crazy.

-Tithe? Are you serious? That was a piece of puerile garbage I had to read for my middle school's fantasy unit. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

-The only explanation I can think of for the Jessica Darling Series not making the list is that some people consider it an adult series instead of YA. At my local Indigo (that is a popular Canadian bookstore chain, for all you foreigners/frenchies) it is in the adult section. I'm not completely sure why, considering it stars a teenager...

All very interesting. A cool list/poll at any rate. Even I don't agree with all the results (and yes, Romeo and Juliet, The Catcher In The Rye, The Secret Garden, and Tithe, I'm looking at you!), but I'm glad most of my favourites made the list. How 'bout you? Any essentials you think are missing?