Tuesday, April 19, 2011

So bad it's good, or so good it's bad?

Did you know that there are people who actually think Gossip Girl is a good show?

I don't mean good as in enjoyable, as in this-show-is-so-freaking-bad-its-hilarious. I mean legitimately good, on par with quality shows like West Wing or Cougar Town or Community. I find this very hard to believe. Don't you?

Personally, I go into each Gossip Girl episode knowing that is going to be terrible. I know that the plots are going to be wildly unrealistic and I know that the characters are going to be inconsistent and annoying and I know that the relationship twists will be stupid and inexplicable. I know that it is going to suck. To me, a good episode is not one that handles its characters well or is well written or anything like that. That is way to much to expect. In my books, a good episode is one that meets one of the following requirements:

1) It has a number of really good Chuck and Blair scenes
2) It shows Serena struggling some how and actually realizing the consequences of her selfish, slutty actions
3) It involves the Power of the Four, aka a grand Chuck/Blair/Nate/Serena take down
4) It is so freaking bad and ridiculous that I spend the whole hour mocking it, laughing like crazy

Sadly, last nights episode only partially met (1), completely invalidated (2), had Nate screwing Raina, so no chance at (3), yet wasn't ridiculous enough to reach (4). It was an average episode. Less predictable than I thought it'd be, if you can believe it. Well, certain parts. Lets story by story it.

1) Cousin Charlie Comes to Town, aka the one where Serena finds another little minion to corrupt

I feel bad for little sweet, naive Charlie. She started this show so pure, so nice and genuine and innocent. And you just know that when she leaves it, she's going to be as corrupted and disgusting and annoying as the rest of them. Right now she's Jenny, circa season one, 

And we all know how that turned out:

So really, Charlie has no chance. So why bother commenting on the fact that the actress didn't seem 18 at all? Or the fact that I kind of agreed with Charlie's mom about the whole money thing? Or even the fact that Charlie has some mysterious secret from her past? So what? This is Gossip Girl! Dan raised a Russian mobster's baby! Blair was sold for a hotel! Serena slept with her english teacher, who also happened to be the man her mom got wrongly convicted! Whatever Charlie's dark secret is, I know it can't be worse than the time that Serena "killed a man". Can you beat that Charlie, can you?

Charlie Rhodes Picture
"Yes, I'm excited to try! Maybe I can even beat you Serena"

Alas, we already know where this going, so we might as well move on

2) Nate Screws Raina, aka the one where Nate screws Raina (is there more to this storyline? If there is, I'm not aware of it)

Raina's concerned about her mother. Giant snore. Apparently, her mother is dead. I did not know this. I have never paid attention to Raina, no matter if she was screwing Chuck or his best friend Nate. 

Anyway, Raina is angsty. That's all we really got, since this storyline was totally separate from all the other ones, and was only shown in 1 or 2 minute cut aways every 15 minutes or so. Poor Raina, I would say, if I cared. But I don't, so screw Raina. Oh wait, Nate already is!

3) The Royal Portrait, aka the one where they delay the Chair reunion in any way they can

If I was a Dair fan, I would be MAD right now. I mean, we wait six freaking weeks to see the result of that kiss, and this is what we get?!? NOT AT ALL WORTH IT! If I were a Dair fan, I'd have about the same expression Dan did last night. After all, that whole kiss thing was a pretty big freaking deal, 

But yeah, no. No, no, no. The show decided to do a complete 180, steering away from Dair...right into the arms of Chair. I'll admit, as the true Chair fan I am, there were some pretty good moments. 

I thoroughly enjoyed Chuck's speech to Blair about how worthless Dan was, when Dan was standing RIGHT THERE. My mother was watching with me, and she couldn't believe it when I burst out laughing. She thought Chuck was being cruel. But I was so long ago desensitized to such things, I loved it. I mean, it was horrible and classist and just plain mean. But also classic! 

I also loved how they kept showing Chuck sad in the photo. He he he he he. Gotta love it. Unless you're a Dair fan of course. Luckily I am not. 

But unluckily for both of Chairs and Dairs, this man showed up, threatening everything, 

Of course, we all know it's not going to stick. But it's so hard not to get paranoid about it anyways.

If you care at all about Gossip Girl, you know that Blair is getting engaged by the end of the season. Theoretically, there are three possibilities: Dan, Chuck, Prince. But it can't be Prince whatever his name is, because then he'd have to become a regular, and we already have too many of those. And it can't be Dan because Dan and Blair have barely dated and Dan has to end up with Serena anyways. 

That leaves Chuck. As it should be. He's the only one that makes sense, since he has actually expressed the desire to marry her, on numerous occasions. He would have proposed at the end of the last season if stupid Dan and Jenny hadn't interrupted. 

Either it's Chuck, or its no one. Or she gets engaged to the Prince for like five seconds, only to realize she was meant to be with Chuck. CHUCK! CHUCK! CHUCK!

4) Vanessa's Internship, aka the one where Vanessa has super sonic hearing as well as super creepy spy skills

I know that I should write something about Lily and her sister and whatever, but I don't care about them, as much as Gossip Girl wants me to, so instead, I just had to have a good laugh at Vanessa. 

Remember when she overheard Ben threatening Damien from a cab 25 feet away? Well, her superhero talents are back this week, as she hides behind corners, finding out everything about Blair and Dan and Chuck and blabbing it all to Serena for no good reason other than to further story. LOVED IT! Definitely a classic it's-so-freaking-bad-it's-good moment. One for the ages. 

What did everyone else think? And does anyone else take this show seriously?

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