Pieces of My Heart

The things we loved when we were younger always hold a special place in our heart. I already shared my undying love for Mary-Kate and Ashley. And, today, I'll share one more piece of my heart.

Today I'll share my love of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series. I read those books from grade six to grade eight, and I absolutely loved them. I came to love characters like they were my best friends, my sisters. I still reread parts of the books every couple months, to slip back into the world of Bridget and Tibby and Lena and Carmen and Brian and Eric. It feels so comfortable, so familiar, like an old sweater or the hug of someone you really love. 

Of the girls, I probably related most to Lena and Carmen. Lena, for her quiet awkwardness. Carmen for her anger and for her many other faults. But I loved all four of them. I adored Tibby for her dorkiness and dark humour. I loved Bridget for her wild hair and her crazy whims and her spunk. I loved them all, and I knew them, and I missed them all those years since the books ended. I would invite any opportunity to spend time with them again, which is why I enjoyed the first Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie and endured the second one. 

I long ago accepted that this series was over, in the way that I accept that some friends are not forever, but just for a short time, when you need them most. It was supposed to be four books. Four summers. Four years of high school. Four best friends. The last book was a conclusion, Forever in Blue. It was the end. 

But then, the other day, I saw this: 

It was like seeing an old friend on the street. Kind of exciting, because you get to see what they've been up to all these years. How they've changed. If they're still the same person you loved all those years ago. But also really scary and awkward, because, before if seemed like you could never run out of things to talk about, and, now, you struggle to fill the silence. A mix of emotions, to say the least. 

The original plot summary I read seemed okay. It seemed like, maybe, we still had some things in common after all, like we could spend an afternoon together talking endlessly over each, trying to learn about the new person who had replaced our old person. 

"Despite having jobs and men that they love, each knows that something is missing: the closeness that once sustained them. Carmen is a successful actress in New York, engaged to be married, but misses her friends. Lena finds solace in her art, teaching in Rhode Island, but still thinks of Kostos and the road she didn’t take. Bridget lives with her longtime boyfriend, Eric, in San Francisco, and though a part of her wants to settle down, a bigger part can’t seem to shed her old restlessness.

Then Tibby reaches out to bridge the distance, sending the others plane tickets for a reunion that they all breathlessly await. And indeed, it will change their lives forever—but in ways that none of them could ever have expected.

As moving and life-changing as an encounter with long-lost best friends, Sisterhood Everlasting is a powerful story about growing up, losing your way, and finding the courage to create a new one."

It disappointed me a little, because it wasn't what I imagined for my friends. At the end of Forever in Blue, I had chosen to believe that Lena and Kostos had gotten together sooner rather than later. I had chosen to believe that "someday" was now. And I'm kind of sick of dealing with all the Lena/Kostos drama. I dealt with some much that the first time around. 

Bridget still seems to have the same commitment issues, the same flight instead of fight instincts, which frustrated me in their familiarity. Eric is so nice! So kind! So loyal! How can she not want to live with him, marry him, build a life with him? As always, I questioned Bee's choices. 

Again, I felt bad for Carmen. She always gets shafted. In the first book, she was depressed about being fat and Puerto Rican and having a Dad that had forgotten about her. In the second book, she was depressed about having a mother who getting married and starting a new family without her. In the third book she only got a smidge of romance, in the background of the looking after Lena's grandmother storyline. And in the last book she was once again depressed, lonely, with a sucky friend. Carmen never gets romance or happiness, and it still doesn't seem like she has it here. Poor Carmen, my girl, you deserve so much better. 

And then there was Tibby. The description kind of forgot about her, and about Brian, but I was sure they'd fix that soon. Well, I was wrong, since I found another plot summary which revealed SO MUCH MORE. If you don't want spoilers, skip this part. 

"Forever in Blue: The Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood (2007) ended almost a decade ago as Lena, Carmen, Bridget and Tibby completed their freshman year of college. Now approaching 30, the four friends have hit troubled waters, individually and as a group. In fact, they are barely in touch with each other. In San Francisco, Bridget avoids committing to sensitive immigration lawyer Eric (whose patience is the book's great mystery). Lena lives alone in self-proclaimed poverty and isolation in Providence, where she also teaches at RISD, but her heart still belongs to her lost Greek love Kostos. With a weekly gig on a TV police drama, Carmen's acting career has taken off and she is engaged to an ABC executive nobody else likes. The three have not heard much from Tibby since she moved to Australia with her boyfriend Brian several years ago. Then out of the blue, Tibby sends tickets for a reunion on the Greek island of Santorini, where they have already shared so much. Lena, Carmen and Bridget are thrilled as they gather. But tragedy strikes: Tibby drowns before she sees them, and the women suspect suicide. Devastated, they return to their separate lives and stop communicating. But Tibby has left each a mysterious package with a letter asking for another gathering on April 2. Her force of will influence her friends to make the right decisions to find happiness. Carmen must find a way to be true to herself. Bridget must find purpose in her life and get over her fear of commitment. Lena must find a way not to fear love. The ending leaves just enough romantic wiggle room for one more installment. "

TIBBY DIES. I know! This is my girl. I love Tibby. And so does Brian and Bridget and Carmen and Lena. It's not the Sisterhood without Tibby. 

It's like running into your old friend on the street, and them telling you that your other friend died. Suddenly, you're not talking about old boyfriends or old memories. Suddenly, you're in mourning. Suddenly, the whole book becomes about losing Tibby, missing Tibby, trying to find a future without Tibby. 

I knew that this book would be both a blessing and a curse. It would great to spend a few more hours with my girls, but it probably wouldn't live up to my outrageously high expectations. When you grow apart from someone, it's easy to build them up in your mind. That's part of why it's so hard to run into them. They existed for so long in your imagination that it's hard to believe they have a real mortal presence. It's hard to accept that they've changed, that they're not the person you imagined, the person you want them to be. 

But I didn't know this book would be so heartbreaking. I've lost a lot of friends in my life, but I'll never forget them. If anything bad ever happened to them, I would mourn the loss. Not the loss of the stranger that they had become, but the loss of the person who was so important to me, the person who I knew so well. And now, I have to prepare to mourn the loss of one of my very favourite literary heroines. We may not have seen each other in a long time, but she still held a place in my heart. They all did. 

So, with a heavy heart, I say that the fifth book in the Ann Brashares' Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series is titled Sisterhood Everlasting, and it is coming out June 14 2011. 

My Dirty Little Secrets

Recently, people have been commenting a lot on my post Things I Feel Insecure About, saying that they feel the same way. That's nice to know. Since you were all so supportive, and since so many people seemed to like that post, I'd like to follow it up with an even juicier one, where I make an even bigger fool of myself by revealing secrets that I've never even told my best friends. Because sometimes its nice to see that other people have dirty little secrets as well. If you're daring, maybe leave me some of yours.

Here are mine:

1) I have always found my math teacher quite attractive. And I am not that type of girl, who has crushes on teachers all the time, so I have found this very hard to handle. I used to blush whenever he explained a question to me or picked me for an answer in class, but thankfully, that has worn off.

2) Never been kissed. I've admitted that one before, but it's so embarrassing, I think it bears repeating here.

3) I don't believe incest should be against the law, if it's between two consenting adults. But you can't really say that to people, because they think you're into your dad or something. Which I'm not. To be clear. Good lord.

4) I think abortion should only be allowed if both the mother and the father consents. I feel like a traitor to my gender, but it's true. Sorry.

5) I pick my nose. Gross, gross, gross. But otherwise, I have a really hard time breathing. Maybe I have some type or disorder or something.

6) The idea of masturbation terrifies me. I don't think I could ever do it, and I don't understand people who can.

7) My biggest question about sex has never been about the act itself, but preparing for it. Do all women really get bikini waxes, all the time? Isn't that inconvenient? Does it cost a lot of money? And doesn't it HURT?!? And what about all the times people have spontaneous sex in movies? What do women do then?

8) Further on the Sex Ed point, my eight grade health teacher had a box where you could ask anything you wanted, anonymously, without being embarrassed. I always wanted to ask how she lost her virginity, but I was too embarrassed.

Okay, enough about sex. What other secrets do people have???

9) I operate under the assumption that everyone hates me, and is secretly relieved when I am not around bothering them. I secretly wonder if this is actually true. There's no real way to know. No one would answer that question honestly.

10) I spent my friday night working on math. I spent my saturday night working on math. I don't go out. I barely have anything of a social life. The only time anyone ever emails me or sends me a Facebook message is if they want a favour, like scanning a note or something.

What's your secret? I told you mine. It's only fair...

My Most Embarrassing Moment

At school, I am at the top of my class. I'm at top of the honour roll, top ten in the school, where they post both your name and your average for everyone to see. I'm considered smart, by, you know, some people. So, when they catch with a book that looks like this, they usually do a double take:

They think that smart women couldn't possibly read such "girly" books. You should have heard it the week I brought in Perfect Chemistry:

I literally had people ripping it out of my hands to hold it up in front of the class for everyone to laugh at. They read the description aloud, pausing to mock it at key parts. 

People like to poke fun at young adult romance, thinking it's fluff, saying that it is stupid and shallow and girly. You know how, when people read a "smart book" they always try to make sure everyone can see that they're reading it? Well, sometimes, I try to hide my books from people, so they don't laugh. 

So it makes me mad when authors and publishers make it even harder on us, by producing books like this:

I loved Lonely Hearts Club, and I love Elizabeth Eulberg. Otherwise, I would have never picked up this book. It looks so freaking stupid. And I felt so stupid carrying it around. It's just so pink. Moreover, it makes me look like I'm too dumb to read the classic so I have to read some stupid rip off about prom! It gives a bad name to all other young adult romance novels, and that's even before you crack the spine! 

Reading the book inside, I continued to feel embarrassed. Embarrassed for Elizabeth Eulberg and her ridiculous rip off/remake of a book. Embarrassed for Jane Austen and the poor way her work was being treated. Embarrassed for all the girls who actually care about prom. Embarrassed for women, everywhere. 

I actually stopped reading after about 80 pages because it got so bad. But then, last weekend, I was out of books, and I picked it up from my reject shelf. I really don't know how I finished it.

It felt like the main character belonged in a different book. I could connect with Lizzie--she was nice and funny. She felt real, like someone I would actually know, today. But she was so out of place with the world around her. It felt so odd, connecting with the main character, but feeling so alienated by the world she belonged to. Lizzie was a modern character. Yet she was stuck in such an outdated, backwards book. It didn't make any sense. 

People just don't act like that today. Beyond Lizzie, every other character felt like a caricature, a cliche, a waste of ink. They were so flat, so evil, without any empathy. No one is all evil and no empathy, unless they live in a children's cartoon. Real people, even really bad people, have strengths and weaknesses about them, but this book was too shallow to show any of them. 

The entire book felt like that type of anachronism, with people acting so mean and so classist in a way that was so blatant and brash. I don't mean to suggest that classism doesn't exist today. It just doesn't exist in that way, in my opinion. I couldn't relate to it all, and, as result, I had a hard time understanding any of the characters. I had a hard time not burning this book all together, just to watch it's pretty pink cover go up in flames. 

And I understand that that's the way Jane Austen wrote it. And I haven't read Pride & Prejudice, I must admit. But I have read Emma, so I do understand some of the Austen admiration. Jane Austen has a certain charm about her writing. Elizabeth Eulberg loses all that charm in her 21st century translation. 

If you haven't read either, read the classic. Don't settle for this silly substitute. It's a ridiculous remake, a waste of a book, as frivolous and stupid as the never ending line of hollywood movie remakes. As always, stick with the original. 

People don't take young adult romance seriously, and books like this are the reason. Books like this are the reason that bookstores never bother to put YA books out on the shelves on time, because they think it doesn't matter. Books like this are the reason that movie adaptations of YA romances are always so bad, blatantly ignoring plot, when they stick so diligently to every twist and turn of every Harry Potter plot or every detail of The Hunger Games. Books like are the reason that people think I'm stupid, when I'm actually smart. 

So thank you, Elizabeth Eulberg, for wasting my time with this terrible book, for ruining a classic for me,  and for making me embarrassed for my favourite genre and my entire gender. Thank you indeed. 

Book Review: Babe in Boyland

My Summary: Natalie always wanted to be a an actress. But when that failed, she joined the school paper instead, deciding that she now wanted to be a writer. She takes the position of Dr. Aphrodite, the romance advice columnist. At first, when she finds out about a journalism contest, she can't think of a good topic. When her credentials are called into question, she starts to doubt herself as a writer and as a person, because she only tells people what they want to hear. Eventually, she decides that, in order to actually understand romance and boys she will go undercover at an all boys boarding school. During her week undercover she falls for her roommate, sees how to hard it is to be unpopular, and learns a lot about herself.

My Review:

This book was exactly what I needed. It was light and fun and clever and earnest, almost everything I wanted it to be. It was a nice distraction in a weekend where I had a history culminating and math and history exams to study for. Exactly what I needed, exactly when I needed it.

The first fifty pages were a little bit of a struggle for me. The characters, most notably Natalie and her best friends, were a little too cliched, a little underdeveloped and annoying. The first fifty pages pretty much detailed the lives of three very popular and very pretty best friends. Yeah, thanks, I don't need that.

Once the ball got rolling and she actually started attending the boy's school, things got much better. Natalie became awkward, but also very insightful, finally filling out her character. All the male characters introduced at this new school were also dynamic--Tyler, the adorably geeky guy, Josh the idiot jock, and Emilio the sensitive hottie roommate. Finally, I had someone to like, something to root for.

Source

I love this picture. Do you get it--root for romance?!? CLASSIC!

From there, the book only got better. I thought Natalie's observation were, on the whole, quite interesting. She had a really hard time hiding her girlishness--not only the physical attributes, but the mannerisms and personality. I had never really thought of that. I really connected with this part of Natalie's struggle. I'm not much of a girly-girl, but I have feminine tendencies that I would have a hard time hiding.

I also found the insight in males quite intriguing. There was a little bit of the predictable "they're actually human beings" type of thing, but there was also a lot of study of how boys communicate differently then girls. How boys are (generally) less physical and less verbal, but no less communicate just as much as any girl. How boys are limited just as much as girls, just in different ways. Girls are expected to be skinny. Well, guys are expected to hide their emotions. Which one would you prefer?

The main problem that I had with this book is its similarity to the movie She's the Man.

The minute I read the synopsis, I thought of the Amanda Bynes movie. The review I read of it even mentioned the film by name. Part of me feels like I have no right to complain about the similarities, since I knew what I was getting going in.

The other part of me has a few, somewhat minor complaints. Obviously, if you're going to write a book about this topic in this day and age, you would have seen the movie. If it were me, I would try to distinguish my book from the movie as much as possible. The author, though, takes an opposite approach. As a result, a handful of scenes feel like they're stolen right from the screen. In She's the Man, Amanda Byne's Viola is crazy about soccer. In Babe in Boyland, soccer is replaced with Theatre, but the obsession plays out the same way. There's also the prerequisite girl gets hit in the groin and has to pretend like it hurts scene, and girl has trouble showering with boys problems.

By the end, though, the similarities stopped bothering me. I realized that yes, they do share the same core idea, and yes, they do even share some scenes. But each has different strengths, and, as a result, each can take up a different compartment in my brain.

She's the Man is really, really funny. It has a million different stories going at once, all intertwined a giant web of deception and misconceptions. It's a hollywood production--go big or go bust. It is silly and ridiculous and really cliched and a ton of fun.

Babe in Boyhood is very different. It is less laugh-out-loud funny and more amusing. The plot is less complicated, but the characters are more unique. The purpose of She's the Man is make a sellable movie. The purpose of Babe is to sell books, but also to make the reader think, and provide insight into girls, boys, and life in general. She's the Man is funnier, but also fluffier. Babe in Boyland digs below the surface, providing more than comic relief. In that way they compliment each, instead of being in competition with each other.

One thing they do have in common is the romance problem. When the girl is pretending to be a boy, how can another boy fall for her without being gay? She's the Man handles this issue by having Duke meet Viola and develop a relationship with her, outside Sebastian. Babe in Boyland takes the harder route, which, ultimately, I found more rewarding.

My Final Thoughts: Babe is Boyland will not change your life. But it will brighten your day. It will make you smile and make you laugh, and even make you think. To me, there's nothing more I could ask for in a book, especially right now.

Playing Teen Book Bingo

I am currently in the process of applying for a summer job. I've applied at the school board (because I want to be a teacher), the library (because I maybe want to be a librarian as well), and, now, my local book chain, Chapters (because, well, I love to read). In doing so, I had to look through all the job postings, and I found one I just loved: Children/Teen Book Sales. Oh mon dieu! It's a dream come true.

If there's anything I know in this world, it's teen books. I've either read it myself, have a friend who's read it, read a review of it, or at least heard of it from one source or another. I've read most of the major books, hit most of the major authors. Just this last week I finished up The Hunger Games trilogy, another square on the YA bingo board:

Made by yours truly. With a (huge) slant towards YA romance, and a few classics thrown in.

In addition to The Hunger Games, I also got another chip this week by reading a ton of Elizabeth Scott books:

It scored me a double bingo on my self-made bored! And, of course, it gave me a lot to think about...or, rather, critique.

Elizabeth Scott is a considered something of a YA romance god. Not like a Jesus/Christian God who created the genre and influences all books within it, but more like a Greek or Hindu God, where she is one of many who all the readers and writers look up to. This week was something of a conversion class for me, an initiation into a new church.

I'm sorry to say this to all you worshippers, all you believers, all you fans. But I am not her disciple, and I don't think I will ever be. She is a good writer, who crafts slightly above-average stories. All the power to her. But she's not Sarah Dessen. She's not Deb Caletti. She's not even freaking Simone Elkeles. She's good. But she's certainly not great, in the God-like sense of the word.

It really comes down to a quality vs. quantity issue. Either a writer can choose to go for quantity, like in The Hunger Games, where there's so much going on, such a complicated setting, so many strong supporting characters, and many plot threads all charging forward at once. Or, they can take a more qualitative approach, like Sarah Dessen, focusing on a few specific characters and a handful of plot lines, and slowly building to a strong and satisfying ending. Both approaches can work. Both approaches can make great books. If they're done the right way.

Elizabeth Scott is obviously going for quality. Her world's aren't overly complicated, her mythology non-exsistent, her plot few and far between. But she doesn't do it with awe-inspiring skill. She aims for quality, but it simply isn't there. Her main characters are too bland, her supporting players too under developed and cliched. Her settings are mundane and forgettable. Most of all, her plot lines are just too bare.

My english teacher is a very excitable person. When someone gets an answer she particularly likes she yells out "bing!". If no one is digging deep enough, she tells them to go for the meat, the good stuff. Sarah Dessen is a bing. Elizabeth Scott needs to go for the meat. Her stories, while perfectly pleasant, lack a substance, a real heart. They are stable skeletons, well plotted and thoughtfully executed, but they lack the meat that would really make them a good meal.

Something, Maybe really attempts two story lines, and only really pulls one off. The successful story is the romance between the main character, Hannah, and the goofy guy Finn. It is easy, enjoyable, sweet, and predictable. The other story, with Hannah's father, is flashy and obvious and never particularly interesting. It's a semi-original idea, but it's pulled off with little finesse or believability.

Bloom is better. It too attempts only a couple plot arches, once again pairing the predictable romance with the abandonment issues. The romance is slightly more engaging, and the character's seem to have some type of chemistry, this time being allowed to develop beyond basic cliches. The parental storyline is also superior. This time I actually felt connected to the character, felt something beyond basic empathy. The story was realistic, charming, and, once again, pleasant.

Perfect You is the best of the three, developing three whole story lines. There is, of course, the prerequisite romance, which is often frustrating and rarely rewarding, because it centres on a male character I never much came to care for, and unfolds in a less than ideal way. Then, there is, once again, a parent story, about the father who quits his job to sell vitamins. The characters involved are rather flat, but are all together fine. The stand out storyline is the decaying friendship between Kate and her best friend Anna. Their relationship was painfully realistic, and actually brought me close to tears at many points.

Out of three books and seven plot lines, only one really got me. That's not God-like quality. Elizabeth Scott is not a saint; she lives among us mere mortals, and that's more than alright. Her books are pleasant, enjoyable, fine, but nothing more. I would be less disappointed, expect my sights had been set so high.

Dear Diary,

I'm scared. I don't want to go back to school. This next part is going to be really hard.

Monday is going to be hard. I'm going to have to talk to my french teacher about missing the test. I'm going to have to give an english presentation. I'm going to have to get a awful math test back. I'm going to have to find a way to pass my lunch without anyone to eat with.

I'm going to have to talk to people who pretend to like me and laugh with friends who pretend to know me. When I talk, they don't hear me. I'll be in the middle of a sentence, middle of a word, and they'll get up and walk away. They don't care what I say or who I am. They don't care about me. They don't want to be friends with me.

I'll go to school on monday, and I'll have to start every conversation, because no one wants to talk to me. My best friend doesn't want to talk to me. Because I'm not her best friend. I barely even know if I'm her friend somedays. Everyday, I struggle to find someone to eat lunch with. Everyday, I hate myself more and more because of that.

Right now, monday seems impossible. But monday's just one day. I'll be able to survive the awkwardness and the loneliness and the hard work for one day. It's the rest of the days after that that are impossible. Everyday when I have to wake up and beat my brains out to get perfect marks. Everyday when I have to feel stupid and foolish and invisible, good, but not good enough.

I'm terrified of monday and everyday after that, and I just want this to end. I want to be done with these people and these classes and this feeling. I want to go to university. But, from where I sit right now, university seems impossible. Monday seems impossible.

I'll get through this, I know. But right now, from where I am, it's hard to remember that. All I can see is challenges, all I can feel is the fear, and all I face is the impossible. But, one day, I'll wake up, and, hopefully, I'll see something else, feel something else, face something else. Something better.

At, least, I hope. That's how this works, right?

Wish me luck,

Katherine

SURPRISE!

I have a surprise for you! A really boring video where you have to hear my really annoying voice! 

I've seen a lot of the videos that April from Good Books and Good Wine does, and I always find them interesting and adorable. And, I had a huge stack of books that I was very excited about, but didn't want to take a bunch of time to type about. It seemed like a good time to try the whole video thing. Tell me what you think. 

Of course, I have a few notes, a few caveats, a few warnings:

-Yes, I know my voice is really annoying. I know, most people say this, but I really mean it. Because people tell me this all the freaking time. Sometimes in a polite way, like, "your voice carries", and sometimes in a less polite way, like, "will you please shut up". So, if you're watching the video and thinking I have most annoying voice ever, I guarantee you that you're not the first person to think that. 

-I tried really hard to not show my face in the video. Partly because I hadn't had a shower yet, and my hair looks like crap. Partly because I want to maintain a little bit of my mystique. 

-What you see behind the books is my window seat and the stain glass window in my room. In case you were wondering about that, for some odd reason. 

I'll probably never do this again, but I wanted to try it out. If you like it for some strange reason, please comment!