Remember When Gossip Girl Was Actually Good?

Do you all remember a time when Gossip Girl was simple? When it actually made sense? Remember back in the first season, when all we had to worry about was Dan and Serena and their budding romance,

And the biggest drama was the whole Blair's dating Nate, who slept with Serena, who's dating Dan? Don't you miss the good old times? Because tonight, boy oh boy, I missed the old times. I missed the time when Dan was actually a good guy, who wasn't as corrupted as everyone else. I miss when Serena was only a slightly annoying character, instead of the most self obsessed, stupid person on TV. I miss when I actually cared about Rufus and Lily, when he looked normal, and was not a complete douche like he is now

Pre-douche Rufus: It's been so long! I barely recognize you!

But the real douche this episode wasn't Rufus, but, of course, his charming wife Lily. Now, I've always said Jenny and Serena were the worst characters on this show. Lily is certainly giving them a run for their money (at least she doesn't look like a raccoon. Yet). Yes, this week we got a giant serving of Lily douchiness, which is where, I suppose, I will start my review

Lily Screws the World (Again) AKA the first time Serena gets rejected by a man (but not really)

Truthfully, I think Lily's worst crime against humanity was not the whole Ben thing, but the fact that she gave birth to such an annoying, insipid, selfish daughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what she did to Ben was bad. But what do you expect? This is what Lily does! She uses money to solve her problems. And she was trying to save stupid Serena in the first place! So maybe, actually, this segment should be renamed: The One Where Serena is a Complete Douche. Because, my lord, was Serena an idiot in this episode.

So, a guy teams up with his sister to attempt to ruin your life, and actually tries to kill you. Then, you find out all of this, and the guy gets out of jail because your mom paid off the judge because it was her fault he was convicted in the first place. What's the first thing you would do?

a) Get the hell away from all the drama and move to another city

b) Enjoy being by yourself and not adored by a man for the first time since you hit puberty (or before that, god forbid)

or, you know,

c) Try to sleep with the guy

Personally, I think any NORMAL or SANE person would hopefully pick a) or b). That's just me, though. Serena, though, picks c). Yes, the VERY NIGHT he is released from jail she goes out to find him. WTF? W-T-F?

I almost felt bad for Ben. Serena wouldn't leave him alone! She just assumed that he'd want to see her! Why? Why would he want to do that? Oh, I know, because EVERYONE LOVES SERENA. Well, everyone is stupid. And Ben is stupid too. Except for his shining moment of the night, with this great line: "I see that look in your eye, and I know what it means! And I don't feel that way about you!"

Booyah! Go Ben!

Finally, for the FIRST TIME since the start of the show, someone rejects Serena! Finally, there is one sane human! Of course, as we saw at the end of the episode, he was lying to her. But, no matter. She still got put in her place. She had her feelings hurt, for the first time ever. She needed that.

That's the only good part of this whole story arc. This entire, season long Juliet/Ben/Serena storyline has been awful, and I just want to see it go. But, alas, it looks like this isn't the last we've seen of Ben. Just no more Juliet. I need some salvation. Speaking of, the second storyline of the night...

Dan and Blair Put Off Sex: Part 1

As promised, a little Dan and Blair love. Or at least like. In an episode where every single storyline sucked this one somehow became the only one I could stand to watch. But that's all I can give you Dair fans. I'm still not jumping on that ship. Not quite yet. First, because of that adorable moment when Chuck checked in, and was so obviously proud of Blair. Their flame will not die!

Yes, I will post a Chair picture every chance I get. I need to balance out the Dair with some Chair!

And second, because I'm really hating how the show is handling the whole Dair mess. Tonight's story was so freaking forced! And I had such good feelings going in. First, because the girl who played Meryl Streep's daughter in It's Complicated was playing the boss. And second, because someone on Gossip Girl was actually doing something productive for the first time ever. I wanted Blair to succeed at the internship. I wanted her to be good and smart, and successful enough to get back with Chuck (see above). But then the contrivance started.

I understand what they were trying to do. But I just don't think they succeeded. I know it was supposed to be role reversal. Oh look! Blair is actually being a nice person! And Dan is being the douche! How shocking! Except, it didn't really work, since what Dan did made absolutely no sense! It's Complicated girl had just finished telling him how awesome he was, and how awful Blair was. He didn't need to do anything else! So it wasn't a role reversal. Because when Blair schemes, it makes sense, and it has heart. What Dan was doing was just stupid and heartless. And that is not the Dan I fell in love with in season one! I want him back!

Oh, Lonely Boy, where have you gone?

All this storyline showed us was what we already knew: Dan needs to become Dan again! And Blair needs to grow up! I've spent the whole post bellyaching about how everyone needs to revert back to season one Gossip Girl. Well Blair's that exception. Because she may look different

The only thing left is the headband!

But she's still that immature sixteen year old. And if she's ever going to achieve something (and get back together with Chuck!), she's going to have to act her age, at least. Come on Blair, you can do it. I believe in you! You're the last good character left in this whole show!

Speaking of my love of Blair, I did adore some of her lines tonight. I was laughing so freaking hard. Here are my favourites:

1) "I don't judge. Today."

2) "Look! Georgina's baby!"

CLASSIC! You may be immature and I may not like your budding romance with Mr. Humphrey, but I'll always love you Blair. Just get back together with Mr. Bass, and everything will be alright. Speaking of Mr. Bass...

Chuck Bass Sleeps with Some Random Chick I Didn't Even Bother to Remember the Name Of

Didn't bother to learn the character's name. Didn't bother to pay attention to this storyline. Sorry! But I'm sure it's something along the lines of Chuck screws some girl, because he's in love with Blair, but he can't be with her because it's too early in the season/series, like EVERY other storyline Ed Westwick has ever been given.

Moving on...

Eric Dates Damien, or Whatever

Didn't pay much attention to this storyline either. Didn't even bother to find a proper picture. It has Damien in it. Good enough for me.

From what I could tell poor little Eric is lonely. Because it's hard to be a rich gay boy that all the other guys are clamoring over! Boohoo! I feel so bad for him! Whatever Eric. Shut up. Stop doing drugs. Stop hanging out with Damien. Because we all know how well that worked out for Jenny (she was written off the show! Take that!).

Oh, and then Damien interfered with the whole Ben/Serena thing, resulting in one of the most non-sensical scenes of series that included the the Serena killing a man/Georgina being involved with a Russian mobster arcs! I don't understand that last scene at all. And the worst part is, I don't even care. That's the problem with tonight's Gossip Girl. And basically the whole season. Last season was just as crappy, but at least I had something to hold on to, something to invest in. Chuck and Blair were enough for me. But this season I have nothing. The only story I mildly enjoyed this week was Dan and Blair, and that's just not worth it for me. If I could find a way to quit this show I would! But then they'd just feature Chuck and Blair in a promo, and would be blown to hell. We all know I'm in this 'til the end. Unfortunately.

XOXO

Dan and Blair

You may have noticed this blog is kind of lame. No one comments. Average of 5-10 pages views a day, if I'm lucky. I haven't exactly become a blogging sensation. A really successful post for me usually constitutes 20-odd views. Whoppee.

Well, this last week my blog has EXPLODED. My page views have skyrocketed. Almost 200 page views in 2 days. Considering I only have a total 500 page views since the start of the blog, that a pretty big frickin' deal. 40% of my total page views over a year in 2 days. Holy moly. My head's exploding a little bit.

So, of course, the question is why? What happened that made my last post, What Characters Haven't Got Together? Let's See, oh so popular? Was it just the brilliantly funny, clever writing? Was it the fascinating subject matter? Has all the hard work finally paid off?

Yeah, right. No, it was nothing to my credit it turns out. It was three little words which I have used separately many times. I put them together, and BANG, blogging sensation:

DAN AND BLAIR

The little thing I picked up on monday's Gossip Girl was apparently A HUGE DEAL online, as everyone and their neighbour was googling it, and landing on my little blog post. So it wasn't me. It was some stupid couple that I hate. I'm so proud.

I almost feel bad for all the people who clicked on my link, expecting a Dair post, only to find my ramblings about Rusty and Ashleigh's budding romance on Greek (which, by the way, got me zero page views). The stuff I had written about Dan and Blair was deep into the post, so any Dair fans probably skipped out before they ever found anything they were looking for. That's the thing about page views: just because they clicked on it, doesn't mean they read it. Evidenced by the zero comments I got.

In fact, most of the views I got were for the images I had gotten from Google. Even less to do with me. Well, for all you people looking for Dan and Blair photos, here's the jackpot:

Aww, the cute little scheemers.

And look, them standing awkwardly next to each other, not doing anything romantic!

And oh wow, an actual kiss. This is funny, since I never remember them kissing. Either I missed an episode or someone's really skilled with photoshop.

And in case you actually want to know what's going on with these two crazy kids here's a link to an article featuring the creators, who say they will only be really good friends, nothing more. Yeah, right.

And to balance out all the craziness of the Dair fans (and I still can't believe there are DAIR fans), a photo of the only Gossip Girl couple that really matters:

Sadly, when I write about Chuck and Blair I don't get any page views. Apparently people don't care about them or there are already too many people writing about them. Maybe I have hit on a niche in the internet, a fan base that desperately needs a blog. I could become the Dan and Blair blog. I mean, I would hate what I was writing about, but I'd sure get a lot of page views. Or I could write about equally obscure yet oddly popular couples, like, I dunno, Evan and Rebecca from Greek, or Penny and Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, or Jules and Greyson from Cougar Town. I didn't know anyone cared about them. But, you know, whatever gets me hits.

Now, I'm sure this post won't get 200+ page views. The Dan and Blair craze has seemed to settle down, at least until the next GG episode. But this whole thing did make me think. A few of the blogs I read do weekly reviews of shows. I'd have fun doing that. Now, I'd ask what shows you want me to review, out my regular schedule:

Gossip Girl

Greek

Glee

Hellcats

Parenthood

Teen Mom

Cougar Town

Big Bang Theory

30 Rock

Bones

But, to get back to the beginning of this post, no one comments on this blog. I guess I'll just have to pick. I think I'm going to try three shows:

Gossip Girl--Because it got me so many page views already, and so much happens in one episode that it gives me so much to talk about. Plus, none of my friends watch, so I'll finally have a forum to share my Chair love.

Greek--Because I love Casey and Cappie, and I love Rusty, and Ashleigh, and I basically just love this whole show. And, it's a less popular show that not many other people will be writing reviews on, so I have void to fill. And it's a teen show, and this is, after all, a teen blog.

I might also add Teen Mom, if I find enough to talk about.

So, for the 5-10 people who read this today, there's something to look forward to. And for the 200+ people who stumbled across this looking for some Dair love, welcome, thanks for visiting. Come back on monday, if you want. I'm sure there'll be more Dair in the next episode. And I promise I'll write about it, just for you :)

9-1-1

I know I just posted, but I had one more thing to add, one crime to report:

ANDREW GARFIELD WASN'T NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR!!!

HE WAS ROBBED, I TELL YOU! ROBBED!

I mean, he was nominated for everything else! Golden Globe! BAFTA! And he was on everyone's prediction list! And he's AMAZING in the Social Network! BLOODY CRIME!!!!!!!!

Going now. Just had to report it. A crime has been committed against humanity. 

What Characters Haven't Got Together Yet? Let's see

I am in the middle of exam madness. But I don't care! This week's episodes of Greek and Gossip Girl were just so good, I must react!!

It was a week of romance, in the form of random couple pairing. Here's the list:

1) Rusty and Ashleigh, Greek

Sucky picture, I know. There is a complete lack of Rusty/Ashleigh pictures out there on the interweb. I would have thought there'd be many. This seems like a major "ship".

When I first saw the previews for this season when they started pushing Rusty and Ashleigh, I must admit, I was a little hesitant. It's kind of weird. Ashleigh is Casey's best friend. She has always seemed like a second older sister to him, giving him advice about dating, with no romantic undertones. And I liked Rusty and Dana. I didn't want them to break up. But...last night they won me over. Big time. I mean, I love Rusty, obviously. He's so smart and just so adorable. And I adore Ash as well, with all her energy and niceness and everything. And it's about damn time she got a legitimate love interest on this show! First that stupid boyfriend Trevor (?) that we never saw and was just a jerk, as far as we knew, then Hotness Monster, if you can even count him, and then stupid cheating, lying Fisher. This girl deserves a good man!

And yes, I am sad for Dana. I liked Dana, and I thought she was perfect for Rusty, with her cuteness and her brains. And I thought their break up was a teeny bit contrived. But I am willing to move on, especially if I get to move on to great multiple episode arc of a Rusty-Ashleigh romance. I have no idea but they'll be like as a couple, but I'm open to it. I loved when they hugged, and I loved Ashleigh's reaction, and I can't wait until the next episode to find out what happens with them (And I am double, triple, quadruple excited to see Casey's reaction, if/when she finds out! Sure to be amusing!).

Sucky picture #2. Side note: anybody else find it weird that Casey was/will be dating Cappie, one of Rusty's best friends, and Rusty will be dating Ashleigh, one of Casey's best friends? Beyond the obvious incestousness of it all, there's going to be a lot of those awkward "oh, I'm going to have sex...with your sibling" conversations!

2) Dan and Blair, Gossip Girl

Speaking of incest! Oh my f***ing Gossip Girl! I can't believe it! After all this time, it's finally happening. DAIR!

Aww, cute Dan and Blair photo! Unlike Rus and Ash, these two are a major ship. God knows why....

Now, us Gossip Girl fans put up with a lot. Jenny and Nate. Jenny and Chuck. Vanessa and Chuck. Serena and whatever guy she's screwing this week. We've come to except that this group of Upper East Siders are the most incestuous group that can only date within their friends or their friends siblings. We've done the math. I mean, here's the whole list of potential couples, with the has-beens crossed off:

Nate and Blair

Nate and Serena

Nate and Jenny

Nate and Vanessa

Chuck and Blair

Chuck and Serena

Chuck and Jenny

Chuck and Vanessa

Dan and Serena

Dan and Jenny

Dan and Vanessa

Dan and Blair

Besides Dan and Jenny, who can't get together, because they're related (though, am I the only one who could that would be crazy enough to actually happen? It's GG, after all. Serena killed a man. Chuck died. Georgina faked a baby daddy because she was involved with the Russian mob. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN). So that leaves only two couples: Chuck and Serena and Dan and Blair. And, surprise, surprise, this episode featured both those couples!

So, we knew it was going to happen. I've thought many times that they we're getting close to it, and then they'd pull away. There would be a cute Dair scene plotting some scheme, then it'd be forgotten. There'd be some adorable washing the dishes at the end of an episode, quickly forgotten. I'd gotten use to them teasing us (if you can even call it that, since you can usually only tease people with stuff they want, rather than this, which I ABSOLUTELY HATE). But this episode, it looked like was shaping up to be the real thing.

Soon enough this photo will not need to be so obviously photoshopped!

It's hard to articulate how I feel about this. I mean, on one hand, it's endlessly amusing, since it's so completely ridiculous. And it's going to be fun to see how Serena and Chuck react (personally, I hope they start dating, as revenge, like Chuck and Vanessa did when Nate and Blair got together). I mean, there will be some fun bits, I'm sure. But then the rest of it will be horrifying, as they try to sell these two as a legitimate couple, whilst trying to keep the Dan/Serena and Chuck/Blair flames alive. That should be a good one!

And yes, I can see some legitimacy to them as a couple. In a lot of ways they're totally alike. They both actually have some semblance of a future plan for themselves. And they like to tease each other. And, ya know, they both love Serena. That could help them or hurt them. Probably both.

The stupidest part of all of it is that we know it's all for show. It's all treading water, until the end of the season/series when they inevitably break up and end up with their soulmates, Serena and Chuck. We all know that the last scene of GG isn't going to be about Dan and Blair. But I suppose there are worse ways to tread water (Serena's dad? Chuck's mom? Juliet and Ben???? Man, there are so many bad story lines on this show!).

3) Casey and Cappie, Greek

Apparently stars are really into these photobooth like pictures with red curtains

This couple is not random, but you know I had to include them. Because they had a good week too. Because just when I thought this would be Cappie/Casey-less episode, we get the great final scene. Beaver shows Casey the light! Cappie acts embarrassed because Casey knows he's been in a fight! !!!

I know, I know, last night's episode was actually a set back in CC (Cappie and Casey). Once again, Cappie was being irresponsible in front of Casey, which he can't afford, especially after the whole marijuana incident from last week. But to me, it showed just how desperate Cappie is to win Casey back. He was so ashamed! It was so cute! He wants her so bad! I love them!

P.S. Other randoms of the week:

-Katherine and Beaver (who I secretly love. I think they'll make a great stable, drama free couple)

-Chuck and Serena (dear god, don't even get me started)

-Heath and Beaver as strippers!!!

10 Things I Want to Say to You

I read this on Steph Bowe's blog, who read it on someone else's blog. You know how these things work. A friend of a friend of mine... Hopefully you'll read this and make a list of your own.

Anyways, here are 10 things I'd say to different people in my life, if I was allowed. If I didn't have to be afraid of hurting their feelings, or saying the right thing, or scaring them, or embarrassing myself. If I could say anything I wanted, here's what I'd say to you:

1) You are such a nice person and you have done so much for me. I owe so much to you, but sometimes, it feels like you don't owe me anything, like you don't need me at all. I wish you wouldn't make me feel that way. Do you really want to be my friend?

2) Please, just relax. Let it come to you. We're never going to be best friends. Stop trying so hard, forcing your way in. We need some space. I need some space. Please.

3) You are so arrogant, and I cannot stand it. The worst part is, you have nothing to back it up! You are not that smart! And I hate your writing! It's just plain awful! I wish you would stop showing off in such transparent ways. You are not that smart, just mean and arrogant, and I really hate you for it.

4) I miss you. I miss who you used to be. I think about you everyday, and I wish we could still be friends. I'll always remember you, and love you for who you were. I hope you can be that person again some day. I'll always be proud of you, looking out for you. I hope you get all you've been working for.

5) I am in the IB program! So stop insulting it to my face! Stop insulting my friends, and stop insulting my classmates! I've been the program for 4 years--I obviously see some use to it. When you say all that stuff, I get insulted! It's a personal attack, can't you see that? Stop badmouthing us! It is mean and unprofessional.

6) Thank you. I know we've had some issues, but I'm glad to be able to talk to you everyday. You been such a large part of my high school experience, and such a large part of my life. I've hated you and had so much fun with you and laughed with you and talked about everything with you. I'm glad to have you in my life.

7) I love you and I don't know how I'll ever live without you. I can't think about losing you. You mean the whole world to me.

8) What's wrong with me?

9) What am I doing wrong? Why don't I get to be special? Why don't I get a bing? I am just as good as everyone else! Why won't you notice me?

10) You are a mean person. Shut up. You are cruel, and hurtful, and I hate you. Yes, you made me cry. Many times. Congratulations. You were the biggest jerk then, and you're the biggest jerk now, bringing it up every single time I talk to you. You are such an awful person and I feel bad for anyone who has to live with you or know you. Most of all, I feel bad for you. You're going to have a lonely life, if you don't learn some common decency.

Some Quick Thoughts

I have to go to sleep in, basically, negative 15 minutes, but some quick (belated) thoughts on the Golden Globes, Greek, and whatever other g words I think of.

Golden Globes:

-I am so, so glad (and, can I say, proud) that Jim Parsons won. He speech was sweet. And Kaley Cuoco was even sweeter. "And the winner is...JIM PARSONS!!!". She was so excited! And she was so cute when she hugged him. And I loved how he started his acceptance--"if you couldn't tell, Kaley's on the show with me". Awwww. 

-I am also very happy that Chris Colfer won. I wouldn't have minded a Eric Stonestreet win in that category, but I am much happier with Chris. He is just so adorable! He looked so shocked! And I love how Lea Michele cried! Her tears make a have been fake for everyone else, and she may have been crying the whole time, but I will continue to believe she really cried for Chris. Because he really deserved it. Because he is the best part of Glee. Because his acceptance speech was the cutest thing of all time. I love Chris Colfer. 

-On the Glee note, I'm fine with the Jane Lynch win, even if her character has gone downhill. I am less fine with the Glee best comedy win, since that show has ABSOLUTELY SUCKED for the last year. I LOVEEEEED the first 6 or 7 episodes, but I've pretty much hated every episode since. It's so inconsistent. The character development sucks. The stunt casting and the theme episodes are absolutely awful. I don't know why I continue to watch.

-I was (obviously) happy with the Social Network best drama win, though I would have enjoyed upsets by Jesse Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield (who made up for it with his adorable stuttering. I love him even more now). And David Fincher won. And Aaron Sorkin won! He deserves it so much, so I was very happy. That man is a true genius. 

-I still don't know what to think of Ricky Gervais. I thought his opening was a little too cruel--I felt bad for Angelina. And the Charlie Sheen joke was pathetic. Overall, though, he was more entertaining than most hosts. I liked him, I think. Maybe. 

Greek, "Cross Examined Life":

-Ashleigh's back! I love Ash! Though I think she should have stayed in New York. I don't really know what she's going to do at Cyprus Rhodes. But whatever, she's fun to have around.

-Rusty was stupid with Dale. And the spidey pledge is Ned from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide which is weird. In a good way. 

-I love how Cappie is trying for Casey. Casey was stupid for getting mad at him. I can't wait until they (inevitably) get back together. Hopefully at the mid season finale, so we can spend the rest of the season/series just enjoying them being cute and in love. 

-Katherine's back! That's gonna be weird....

What other g's do I have? Well, how about this:

-Good return dates: Make It or Break It is coming back at the end of march! Better late than never!

-God, there's no tv on this week: Besides Greek, I've had absolutely no TV to watch to this. I was desperate I watched The Bachelor!

-Getting sick of waiting: I got my first university acceptance, but I don't want to go there, so it doesn't really matter. Meanwhile, I still haven't heard from my number one school and I am getting SOOOOO antsy. I want to get in so badly. Fingers tightly crossed. For a really long time. 

Uh oh, it's t minus thirty-four minutes (if that makes sense, which I'm sure it doesn't, considering I don't know what t is). Got to go. Sleep time. 

Predicting the Golden Globes ('Cause, well, why the hell not?)

Yes, yes, yes, the Globes are absolutely meaningless, less than nothing, and would be completely ignored by the world if not for their proximity to the Oscars. I know already. But hey, it's friday night after a long, long, long week of studying for a test I FAILED FAILED FAILED, so, ya know, why the hell not play the prediction game?

Mystery. Intrigue. Tarot Cards. OOOHH.

There are SO many categories at the Golden Globes, between TV and movies, many of which I don't care about. So I'm just going to highlight the ones I like. Here's the full list, in case you actually give a crap about the Globes (sorry for being so crass today. Like I said, long week). I never see nearly enough movies to be a proper judge, but that's never stopped me before :). Get ready for random judgements, mostly on the actor and not their acting ability, and a lot of love for The Social Network (read my review here).

Best Motion Picture (Drama)

And the nominees are...

Black Swan

The Fighter

Inception

The King's Speech

The Social Network

My pick: The Social Network

My (attempt at an) explanation: This movie is brilliant. The writing is brilliant, and the acting is amazing. It takes a story in which all the characters could easily be seen as villains, but instead become sort of heroes. It treats each character justly. It is a clever film, a funny film, and a really fascinating film, all at the same time.

Best Actor in A Motion Picture Drama

Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network

Colin Firth, The King's Speech

James Franco, 127 Hours

Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine

Mark Walberg, The Fighter

My pick: Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network

My (mildly legitimate) explanation: Because he makes Mark Zuckerberg seem like a funny, brilliant, weird guy, instead of the evil villain he could have come off as. He was just so whip fast, so amusing, just fun to watch. So intense. He made me love and hate Zuckerberg at the same time. Perfect for the role.

Others: Also would enjoy if Ryan Gosling won, because I will always have a loyalty to The Notebook. Also, James Franco, because, well, he is a cool guy.

Best Motion Picture (Comedy or Musical)

Alice in Wonderland

Burlesque

The Kids Are Alright

Red

The Tourist

My pick: The Kids Are Alright

My (mediocre) explanation: Because I really like Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo (13 Going on 30!). Because it was an interesting, fresh movie. Not the best EVER, but certainly the best in this category.

Best Performance by An Actress in A Motion Picture (Comedy or Musical)

Annette Bening, The Kids Are Alright

Anne Hathaway, Love and Other Drugs

Angeline Jolie, The Tourist

Julianne Moore, The Kids Are Alright

Emma Stone, Easy A

My pick: Emma Stone, Easy A

My (awesome) explanation: Because she rocks! And Easy A is totally awesome, easily better than 4 of the 5 nominees for Best Comedy/Musical. It is funny and clever and just amazing. Emma Stones makes the movie. This movie deserves some love somewhere, and I suppose this will be the place.

Others: Julianne Moore (and, I must admit, Annette Bening, if I forgive for American Beauty) deserves it. And I'll have some Princess Diaries loyalty for Anne Hathaway.

Screw best supporting actress in a drama, let's move on...

Best Performance by An Actor in A Supporting Role in A Motion Picture

Christian Bale, The Fighter

Michael Douglas, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Andrew Garfield, The Social Network

Jeremy Renner, The Town

Geoffrey Rush, The King's Speech

My pick: Andrew Garfield, The Social Network

My (he he) explanation:

(And yes, I will leave them full size, so you can enjoy him in full glory)

To not be totally superficial and airhead-y, I should mention that, in addition to his obvious attributes, he is also really really funny (I've said it before, and I'll say it again, "FISH EAT OTHER FISH"), and he acts really really well. JT wasn't nominated. Armie Hammer wasn't nominated. For a reason.

(not his best scene, but he introduces with his adorable accent, so I couldn't resist!)

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture

Simon Beaufoy, Danny Boyle, 127 Hours

Christopher Nolan, Inception

Stuart Blumberg, Leslie Cholodenko, The Kids Are Alright

David Seidler, The King's Speech

Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

My pick: Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

My (well, duh) explanation: Two words: WEST FREAKING WING. And if that doesn't satisfy you, I will also tell you that his script absofreakinlutely AH-MAZE-ING. Funny. Clever. Brilliant. Bravo, bravo, bravo, Mr. Sorkin.

Other: No one else in this race, as far as I'm concerned

Best Television Series (Comedy or Musical)

30 Rock

The Big Bang Theory

The Big C

Glee

Modern Family

Nurse Jackie

My pick: The Big Bang Theory

My (obvious) explanation: I don't think BBT is perfect, by any means, and this season has been very hit and miss (Amy Farrah Fowler get out of my face!). But it is still the show I look forward to the most every week. It makes me laugh the most. And, you know, there's Jim Parsons. And he's supported by the great work of Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco. A good, and sometimes great, show that deserves some recognition.

(can't embed BBT--link)

Others: I wouldn't die if Modern Family won, but that's just predictable and boring. If Glee wins, I would kill myself.

Best Performance by an Actress in A Television Series (Comedy or Musical)

Toni Collette, United States of Tara

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Laura Linney, The Big C

Lea Michele, Glee

My pick: Tina Fey, 30 Rock

My (fine) explanation: A very weak category, in my opinion. And Tina Fey rocks. First, I'll always love her for giving the world Mean Girls, one of the best teen movies of all time. And I really like her as Liz on 30 Rock. She deserves the win:

Best Performance by an Actor in A Television Series (Comedy or Musical)

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Steve Carell, The Office

Thomas Jane, Hung

Matthew Morrison, Glee

Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

My pick: Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

My (beyond, beyond obvious) explanation: You all know I love him, and I could spend this whole time just typing explanation marks. But I want to try and actually articulate why I love him so much, and why I think he should win. He plays a character who could so easily be unlikable and annoying, but, in his capable hands, he is hilarious. He plays every beat of Sheldon perfectly--arrogant, vulnerable, immature, geeky, innocent. He is a great physical actor, taking what must be simple stage directions in the script--"Sheldon comforts Penny" or "Sheldon's face twitches"--and makes them magic. He is so talented, and I will be very upset if he doesn't win. Expect a rant on monday.

(Ugh, BBT, still not embedding. Here's another link though!)

Others: Anyone else wins, I'm boycotting the Golden Globes FOREVER

On that note, I should go. Fingers crossed for all my picks. And fingers crossed I did better on my biology test than I thought.