Predicting the Golden Globes ('Cause, well, why the hell not?)

Yes, yes, yes, the Globes are absolutely meaningless, less than nothing, and would be completely ignored by the world if not for their proximity to the Oscars. I know already. But hey, it's friday night after a long, long, long week of studying for a test I FAILED FAILED FAILED, so, ya know, why the hell not play the prediction game?

Mystery. Intrigue. Tarot Cards. OOOHH.

There are SO many categories at the Golden Globes, between TV and movies, many of which I don't care about. So I'm just going to highlight the ones I like. Here's the full list, in case you actually give a crap about the Globes (sorry for being so crass today. Like I said, long week). I never see nearly enough movies to be a proper judge, but that's never stopped me before :). Get ready for random judgements, mostly on the actor and not their acting ability, and a lot of love for The Social Network (read my review here).

Best Motion Picture (Drama)

And the nominees are...

Black Swan

The Fighter

Inception

The King's Speech

The Social Network

My pick: The Social Network

My (attempt at an) explanation: This movie is brilliant. The writing is brilliant, and the acting is amazing. It takes a story in which all the characters could easily be seen as villains, but instead become sort of heroes. It treats each character justly. It is a clever film, a funny film, and a really fascinating film, all at the same time.

Best Actor in A Motion Picture Drama

Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network

Colin Firth, The King's Speech

James Franco, 127 Hours

Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine

Mark Walberg, The Fighter

My pick: Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network

My (mildly legitimate) explanation: Because he makes Mark Zuckerberg seem like a funny, brilliant, weird guy, instead of the evil villain he could have come off as. He was just so whip fast, so amusing, just fun to watch. So intense. He made me love and hate Zuckerberg at the same time. Perfect for the role.

Others: Also would enjoy if Ryan Gosling won, because I will always have a loyalty to The Notebook. Also, James Franco, because, well, he is a cool guy.

Best Motion Picture (Comedy or Musical)

Alice in Wonderland

Burlesque

The Kids Are Alright

Red

The Tourist

My pick: The Kids Are Alright

My (mediocre) explanation: Because I really like Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo (13 Going on 30!). Because it was an interesting, fresh movie. Not the best EVER, but certainly the best in this category.

Best Performance by An Actress in A Motion Picture (Comedy or Musical)

Annette Bening, The Kids Are Alright

Anne Hathaway, Love and Other Drugs

Angeline Jolie, The Tourist

Julianne Moore, The Kids Are Alright

Emma Stone, Easy A

My pick: Emma Stone, Easy A

My (awesome) explanation: Because she rocks! And Easy A is totally awesome, easily better than 4 of the 5 nominees for Best Comedy/Musical. It is funny and clever and just amazing. Emma Stones makes the movie. This movie deserves some love somewhere, and I suppose this will be the place.

Others: Julianne Moore (and, I must admit, Annette Bening, if I forgive for American Beauty) deserves it. And I'll have some Princess Diaries loyalty for Anne Hathaway.

Screw best supporting actress in a drama, let's move on...

Best Performance by An Actor in A Supporting Role in A Motion Picture

Christian Bale, The Fighter

Michael Douglas, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Andrew Garfield, The Social Network

Jeremy Renner, The Town

Geoffrey Rush, The King's Speech

My pick: Andrew Garfield, The Social Network

My (he he) explanation:

(And yes, I will leave them full size, so you can enjoy him in full glory)

To not be totally superficial and airhead-y, I should mention that, in addition to his obvious attributes, he is also really really funny (I've said it before, and I'll say it again, "FISH EAT OTHER FISH"), and he acts really really well. JT wasn't nominated. Armie Hammer wasn't nominated. For a reason.

(not his best scene, but he introduces with his adorable accent, so I couldn't resist!)

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture

Simon Beaufoy, Danny Boyle, 127 Hours

Christopher Nolan, Inception

Stuart Blumberg, Leslie Cholodenko, The Kids Are Alright

David Seidler, The King's Speech

Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

My pick: Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network

My (well, duh) explanation: Two words: WEST FREAKING WING. And if that doesn't satisfy you, I will also tell you that his script absofreakinlutely AH-MAZE-ING. Funny. Clever. Brilliant. Bravo, bravo, bravo, Mr. Sorkin.

Other: No one else in this race, as far as I'm concerned

Best Television Series (Comedy or Musical)

30 Rock

The Big Bang Theory

The Big C

Glee

Modern Family

Nurse Jackie

My pick: The Big Bang Theory

My (obvious) explanation: I don't think BBT is perfect, by any means, and this season has been very hit and miss (Amy Farrah Fowler get out of my face!). But it is still the show I look forward to the most every week. It makes me laugh the most. And, you know, there's Jim Parsons. And he's supported by the great work of Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco. A good, and sometimes great, show that deserves some recognition.

(can't embed BBT--link)

Others: I wouldn't die if Modern Family won, but that's just predictable and boring. If Glee wins, I would kill myself.

Best Performance by an Actress in A Television Series (Comedy or Musical)

Toni Collette, United States of Tara

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Laura Linney, The Big C

Lea Michele, Glee

My pick: Tina Fey, 30 Rock

My (fine) explanation: A very weak category, in my opinion. And Tina Fey rocks. First, I'll always love her for giving the world Mean Girls, one of the best teen movies of all time. And I really like her as Liz on 30 Rock. She deserves the win:

Best Performance by an Actor in A Television Series (Comedy or Musical)

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Steve Carell, The Office

Thomas Jane, Hung

Matthew Morrison, Glee

Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

My pick: Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

My (beyond, beyond obvious) explanation: You all know I love him, and I could spend this whole time just typing explanation marks. But I want to try and actually articulate why I love him so much, and why I think he should win. He plays a character who could so easily be unlikable and annoying, but, in his capable hands, he is hilarious. He plays every beat of Sheldon perfectly--arrogant, vulnerable, immature, geeky, innocent. He is a great physical actor, taking what must be simple stage directions in the script--"Sheldon comforts Penny" or "Sheldon's face twitches"--and makes them magic. He is so talented, and I will be very upset if he doesn't win. Expect a rant on monday.

(Ugh, BBT, still not embedding. Here's another link though!)

Others: Anyone else wins, I'm boycotting the Golden Globes FOREVER

On that note, I should go. Fingers crossed for all my picks. And fingers crossed I did better on my biology test than I thought.