Saturday, March 13, 2010

And Then There Was This Plane...

I LIKE CHICK FLICKS. I'm not ashamed. I do not like so-called "intelligent" films. I do not like drama or action or thriller or horror. I like romantic comedies (more emphasis on the "romantic" then the "comedy" part). I am willing to admit all these things. So, when I see a trailer like this, I know it's not a movie for me. However, when a see a trailer like this one,

I know it's my kind of film. I mean sure, it has bit of a dark edge. But there's a boy (Robert Pattinson, Twilight bloodsucker) and a girl (Emilie de Ravin, apparently some character from Lost). That means romance. And sappy endings. And great kissing scenes. That does not mean violent deaths. Or annoying metaphors that make no sense.

I should stop right here and say that this review is going to have spoilers. Now, I know, that is a faux pas in the movie critic world. However, this movie sucks so bad, no one should ever go see it. Or maybe, go see the first 9/10ths of it. Those parts were fine. Average. Nothing special. Some bad Rob Pattinson acting, both nothing too horrifying. It's that last tenth that ruins the film. I mean, it's going along fine. Bad boy gets arrested by cop, starts dating cop's daughter for revenge. Cop's daughter is quirky and sweet and the two instantly fall in love. Cop has fight with daughter, daughter moves in with bad boy boyfriend. They both admit their darkest secrets to each other. Family drama ensues. Hearts are broken, mended, broken again. Whoop whoop. Everything's fine. And then there's this plane...

Yes, this is the point where the movie explodes both figuratively and literally

You see, at the beginning of the movie there was this flashback to 1991, and then back to present movie day, 2001. The whole time I was watching the movie I was trying to figure out why they would set a film in 2001 if it were released in 2010. It makes no sense. I know, you're thinking I'm really dense right now. What big event happened in 2001? I think everyone knows the answer to that. But they had mentioned terrorism at the beginning of the film. I assumed it was October or November 2001. It kept nagging at me. It just didn't make sense.

And then, it did. Apparently, all the relationship drama was before 9/11. Who knew? And so, you can see where this is going. Yes, Remember Me, a quote "romantic drama", ends with Twilight lover boy getting killed in the World Trade Center. Like, what? Just, what? Where did that come from? I mean, what is the message of the movie supposed to be. You can try hard to reform your life and then you'll be killed in a freak terrorist plot? Like, what?

You know, that sad part is I was this close to going to see She's Out of My League, which got rave reviews. But I thought Robert Pattinson, romance, can't go wrong (and before you freak out, I am not a Twihard. I just thought I'd give the guy another chance. Well, he's definitely out of chances now.). Never again, that's all I have to say. Never again.

Most reviewers give a rating for movies. I suppose I should do the same. Well, I give nine tenths of the film 2/5 stars. And I give the ending negative 1000000000000000000000/5 stars. What does that average out to exactly? (I'm not good at math, but it doesn't look good...).

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